Happy Mother’s Day!
There was a time shortly after my mother died a little over four years ago that I didn’t think I’d ever be able to enjoy Mother’s Day again, missing her as I was and knowing that she would never again be there for her sage advice and steady presence that calmed my worst fears even in the darkest times. She was an unbelievable rock, all 105 lbs. of her, the foundation of everything I’ve ever accomplished in life, and her faith in me was unshakeable, far surpassing any faith I might ever have cultivated without her, in myself.
Now that I have kids of my own, I realize that’s the crux of motherhood — an unshakeable faith in your children that gives them the strength and the will and the courage to absolutely and without a doubt become the person they came to this earth to be. I pray that I can give my children that same ineffable gift because God knows the most important things in life are not things, and at our core, our only real task in life is to work our way toward wholeness.
Here’s what else I know. I’ve always gravitated toward women who have had more experience than me — often a generation or two ahead — women who could play the role of mentor in whatever endeavor I had undertaken. Maybe it’s because my grandmothers died before I was old enough to enjoy their company, not just as grandmothers, but as women. I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking about my own mother’s life, not just as my mother, but as a woman on her own journey, shining her own light, and it has given me great insight into my own inner-workings.
Today’s society focuses so much on youth, but that is a pitfall-laden path. The youth must make their own mistakes, yes, but doing so blindly leads to unnecessary hardship. Having a mentor who is even a dozen steps ahead helps you navigate life’s craggy paths with much more certainty. There’s a reason history repeats itself. People forget to go back and read the notes to review what came before, yet if we just asked a few questions of the right individuals, maybe we wouldn’t have to repeat all the drama in quite the same punishing fashion.
So this Mother’s Day, I’d like to extend my gratitude to all my surrogate mothers and mentors who have lent their ear and their wisdom, their guidance and creativity, their patience and expertise to the winding road that has been my own journey, to my friends and contemporaries, the women walking this path with me because where would we be without each other, right girls?!, and, of course, to my own mother whose spirit lives on in all kinds of surprising ways.
So ladies — whether you have kids, or dogs, or cats, or even a bearded dragon, I wish a most joyous Mother’s Day to you all.
May your day, and all the life in it, be lit from within.