In keeping with my slow march through the 12 virtues of the merchant priests from the book “Sacred Commerce,” this is Trust. 

Trust squishes her eye lids shut and runs her fingers through her long brown hair, willing her mind to focus on her textbook.  She still doesn’t know what she wants to do out in the world and just thinking about it makes her stomach churn and whirl.  She swallows her Anxiety and flops back down on the bed, keeping her mouth tightly closed because she knows if Anxiety gets out, she will surely make a scene.  “Trust the process,” her mother says.  Trust likes the way that sentence sounds, especially because it has her name in it, but name or not, it doesn’t make decisions any easier. Trust is pretty sure her parents gave her that name because somehow they knew that’s what she needed to work on.

Trust has been cut off in traffic before and that’s why she doesn’t drive in the inner lanes, preferring the outside lanes close to the shoulder where she can pull off onto in the event of an emergency.  Trust is not silly or pollyanna-ish; she knows how to keep an eye out.  

Trust isn’t without doubt, a common misconception among her peers.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite which is what makes her so brilliant. She knows there are a million ways things can go south, and that chances of them exceeding her expectations are one in 3.14, but she trusts anyway, holding forth the candle in the darkness, knowing full well that some jerk could come by at any moment and blow it out.  She believes in living life with a certainty that most don’t possess.  She takes her job as guardian of life’s heart very seriously, but she still needs to make a living, right, so she’s being practical.  I mean, who’s going to pay her just to be positive and nice?  

Still, defining the rest of your life is an arduous task.  As Einstein once remarked, you can’t solve a problem from the same place it originated, and Trust knows that, but sometimes it’s all just a bit much, kind of a bitch, even.  When she gets like that — a little “doubty” — she takes a short nap and it helps change her perspective.  After all, without trust, what does she really have?

[The Greek Meander Key representing the vicissitudes of life.]

Today is Day 20 of the #AtoZ blog challenge and I Trust this will all be over soon.

pamlazos 4.23.19


About Pam Lazos

writer, blogger, environmentally hopeful
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10 Responses to Trust

  1. Oh, how true this is. Trust is not–should not–be easily given. xxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ronel Janse van Vuuren says:

    Love it!

    Ronel visiting with the A-Z Challenge music and writing: Sweet Country

    Liked by 1 person

  3. cath says:

    I’ve enjoyed your A-Z challenge, Pam, you’ve been interesting and surprising in equal parts and educational. I imagine it’s been quite a challenge though, or did you go into this with a plan?

    I do like this one. Thinking about all the nuances of Trust is something I do all too rarely. Your ‘character study’ is such a good way to explore what is often used as a simple attribute.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pam Lazos says:

      Wow, thanks for that. Totally appreciated, Cath. I didn’t have a plan other than to talk about what I already do on my blog – “where eco meets life” – so it was more of the same for me, but I generally didn’t know what I was going to post about until a day or two out. “Trust” was on my desktop in a much longer form for months and I could never get back to editing it so it seemed good for this. Thanks for reading and your kind words. 🙏🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Excellent and excellently written too xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Susan Scott says:

    Trust the process – TTP – hard with all the doubty doubts that creep in. But doubt is necessary 🙂 I like Einstein’s quote. Gotta take another view from the original problem, not the same place from where it originated. Yes, it will be over soon – Tuesday next week! Thanks Pam, enjoyed this!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Pam Lazos says:

      Thanks, Susan. Although between the holiday and now being on travel for work this week it’s gotten a tad more difficult to keep up. Tuesday, you say? My mother used to caution me about wishing my life away when I was excited for some event and couldn’t wait for it to get here so I’ll not do that, but I’m definitely going to take a short blogging break.😉 How about you?

      Liked by 1 person

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