COURTESY
Courtesy shrinks from the state of the world’s manners. Just the other day she was taking the train into work. The hustle of the early morning commute can be jangly after a weekend spent drinking her early morning coffee while still in yoga pants, but as always she tries to see the bright side. Today, she is shocked to see, some yards ahead, a pregnant woman jostled to the point of falling by fellow travelers eager to get to their destination. The pregnant woman lies flat on her back, her belly bump soaring upward like a giant hill, the fellow passengers scurrying past without stopping to offer a hand in support. One man steps over her — quite the feat given the size of her belly bump — mumbling “sorry” as he runs off to catch his train. By the time Courtesy got there, the pregnant woman was on her feet, brushing detritus from her clothes. Courtesy put a hand on her arm in a show of support; there was nothing else to do.
Courtesy believes in wearing people down with kindness. “It’s free,” she says, so why not give it away? A little thrill runs through Courtesy every time she sees someone hold a door open, “proof,” she says, “that people are not savages.”
Courtesy never misses an opportunity to tap the brakes in traffic — it reduces that suffocating feeling of the cars closing in on her. She never yells at other drivers even when they do something rude. Why add more rage to a world already drowning in it? Courtesy waits her turn for a right on red, especially when oncoming traffic has the green. When someone cuts in front of her because they saw a three-second opportunity to sneak in, Courtesy always wonders what those people are going to do with their extra three seconds.
Courtesy stops and talks to her neighbors when she sees them even if she has a lot to do at home and not a lot of time for chatting. She realizes that relationships matter, not just digital relationships, but the face-to-face stuff; it’s the glue that holds a community together and she prefers to be part of the solution, not the problem.
Courtesy likes to plant trees so future generations can enjoy the comforting shade and the bounty of clean air that trees provide. She doesn’t mind that she won’t be around to see the trees when they are full-grown because somebody else planted the trees that she now enjoys and paying it forward is one of her favorite things, her gift to the future.
Courtesy throws her trash in a trash can, takes her recycling to the recycling center, and shuts off the light when she leaves a room, always conscious of conserving energy. Courtesy realizes she wears people down with her optimism, but she doesn’t mind it at all since it’s part of being courteous.
***
If you read my original post about The Twelve Virtues of the Merchant Priests, as suggested in the book, Sacred Commerce, my goal was to reflect upon and write about the 12 virtues discussed in the book — honor, loyalty, nobility, virtue, grace, trust, courage, courtesy, gallantry, authority, service, and humility — once a month for an entire year. The 12 virtues of the merchant priest “automatically lift us to a higher octave of being,” something today’s world is in dire need of, I believe. While I may have missed my once-a-month goal, I’m determined to finish the list even if it takes a couple years.
Thanks for reading.
pam lazos 11.24.19
Green Life Blue Water 
In this season, I pray hard that Courtesy returns to people’s hearts! We watched the George C Scott film of A Christmas Carol, and damn, if Marley’s speech doesn’t get me every. single. time.
A most blessed Christmas to you and yours, Pam! I’d wish hugs to you, but then my boys would cough all over you. I figure that’s a gift NOT worth sharing. 🙂 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Haha — with three of my own, I’m used to being coughed on! I am with you on the George C Scott version. A million blessings on you and your family. May the grace and joy of the season be yours today and always. Thank you for your friendship. oxox
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And a million blessings to you! Be safe and merry, and find a thousand reasons to smile!
Thank you for your friendship, and all you do to make this world a better place. xxxxxxx
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Ditto, doll. 🥰
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Loved this post Pam. Courtesy is very much missing in this crazy world–especially this time of year. But I’ll be damned if I let it go away from my life. Call me weird, but I love being kind–especially to all the people helping us shopping this time of year. Have a great Thanksgivings 🙂
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Thanks, Michele, although you’re a braver person than I if you are braving the mall! 😂❤️
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Lovely post Pam (Miss Courtesy incarnated) which I read on Sunday but was travelling. So it is lovely to re-read again and be reminded of the value of Courtesy. Thank you. She is available just about every moment of every day when around and about in the world and even as you say, by putting the trash where it belongs and switching off lights when not in use.
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Haha, thank you, Susan, from one courteous woman to another. 🥰🙏
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There are not enough “Coutesys” in the world. I’ve not taken the bus since working from home almost ten years now, but men and children would rarely give up their seat to a disabled person or a pregnant woman – if anyone gave up their seat, it was a woman. We got my mom a travel wheelchair in later years to make it easier for a trip to the mall. We had instances where people would try to climb over her legs in an effort to get past her because the chair blocked a store aisle. It wasn’t a big wheelchair; she wasn’t a big woman. Where’s the house on fire people? No words.
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Oh, how sad for your mom, Linda, to be treated as if she weren’t even there. My husband uses a wheelchair when he has to walk a lot. He has MS but still uses a walker in the house. He says people act as if he’s invisible when he’s in the chair. I do notice people treat him differently. 😞 Sad.
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Yes, your husband is exactly right Pam. People are downright disrespectful and rude (most of the time, not always, because some people would go out of their way to open a door at a mall which did not have the push button to open the door automatically to be courteous to us). My mom also used a cane in the house and when she was more mobile, she used it all the time in stores or restaurants. It was a cane shaped like an oil derrick, which was much more solid than the typical straight cane with the “claw” feet. It was quite wide and she would take my arm if it was crowded in the least, as people would not pay attention and get too close, squeezing by and get their feet tangled in the cane – we were afraid she would be knocked over. I do not understand why people are in such a hurry to go nowhere – I am not talking about Black Friday straining at the bit to get the big sales. This was an ordinary day at a mall, likely on a weekday, which we often went shopping when I had a day off.
What really annoyed my mom/me the most was how doctors would never make eye contact, but instead were looking at me and speaking directly to me. I used to look the other way purposely, whether it was rude or not to make a point.
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Yes, that’s what annoys my husband as well, Linda. He says people think because he’s in a chair that he lost his ability to think! 🤔
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Exactly Pam – my mom was both angry and hurt when that happened. It was extremely rude and all but one of her doctors did that.
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I think that’s sad. 😞
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Me too Pam.
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Courtesy is someone we seem to find more and more unusual. This is a timely reminder, nicely done, Pam.
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Yes, a dying breed. 😩Thanks, Cath. Have a terrific day!
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Please ask Courtesy for her advice on how not to get pissed off at drivers who pass me on the right then cut me off before slowing to a crawl (and similar over aggressive selfish driving stunts).
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Haha! Don’t get me started, Ken. Maybe she should teach a class on dealing with and avoiding road rage. 😡 😂
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She is one important lady that. Truly.
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Xoxoxo❤️
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Hi Pam. The world needs two billion more Courtesys.
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Amen to that, Neil. 🥰
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Love your post. The “Twelve Virtues” link seems nonfunctional, but maybe it’s just me. b
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I’ll check it. Thanks, Bill.🙏
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Thank the gods for Courtesy! Our world is brighter and lighter.
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Thanks, Rosaliene!🙏💃
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Love the post… but loved the photo with the bicycle the most
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Thank you, Damyanti. I took it in Ireland, Galway, I think. Love the riot of color in that picture. 😘
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I love courtesy you know. She may be hard to glimpse sometimes but she is beyond amazing and I abso believe we should all give her her place.
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Thank you, Shey. It is time she had her due. 💝😘
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