Just Be Nice
A few weeks ago, I found this copy of Philadelphia Magazine in the lunch room at work, left, thankfully, by a fellow magazine recycler who’d obviously enjoyed the issue and wanted to share — a nice guy (or gal). The cover not only caught my attention, but echoed something I’ve been fretting over years.
I didn’t grow up in Philadelphia, but I lived there for a decade and I’ve worked there for almost three, and let me tell you, monikers cannot only be deceiving, but downright wrong. The City of Brotherly Love, as Philly is known, is a rough and tumble place when it comes to manners, unless by brotherly they mean frat brothers who’ve been out on a three-day bender. It’s been over 20 years since I’ve lived in the Philadelphia, but even then I bemoaned the general lack of politeness. I’ve always maintained that it’s our civility that has allowed us to evolve as a species. Take away tolerance and what do you have? A bunch of people who want to beat the crap out of each other when they don’t like what the other guy: looks like; is wearing; is eating; is doing; has to say; the list goes on. 
I guess the editors at Philadelphia Magazine felt it was time to address the City of Bad Manners in a tone everyone could understand. You can find that article here. Do read it as it’s a delight.
I think that this is not just good for Philly, but great news for the world at large and perfect for this month’s We Are the World Blogfest, #WATWB. Niceness makes a comeback. And why not?
Isn’t it time for niceness to be front and center again? What if Congress and the Senate injected a bit of niceness into every one of their sessions and said things like, “Hey, want to get a beer after work and talk about this immigration issue?” or “How can we best reduce the deficit without taking away some very important social programs that people rely upon?” to someone in the opposite political party? What good might come out of that? What if Christians and Muslims and Jews all decided to put differences aside and have a Coke together, perhaps talk religious theory instead of dogma and find their commonalities instead of their differences? What if instead of responding in anger to the driver who cuts us off in traffic, we responded with a smile, a nod of the head and an intrinsic understanding that we’ve all been there, we’ve all had bad days, and life can be tough sometimes. You’ll never know what the other guy is going through unless you stop and ask, or even just listen.
Maybe today is the day we all do that. Imagine — a world where all sorts of people from all different places with all different hair, skin, eye color, food preferences and religions, simply got along. How nice would that be?
Welcome to 2018 and the first edition of #WATWB. Co-hosts for this month are Shilpa Garg, Simon Falk, Lynn Hallbrooks, Eric Lahti, Damyanti Biswas and Guilie Castillo.
Want to join? Here are the guidelines for #WATWB:
1. Keep your post to Below 500 words if you can.
2. Link to a human news story on your blog, one that shows love, humanity, and brotherhood. Paste in an excerpt and tell us why it touched you. Accentuate the positive!
3. No story is too big or small — as long as it Goes Beyond religion and politics — into the core of humanity.
4. Place the WE ARE THE WORLD badge or banner on your Post and your Sidebar.
5. Spread the word on social media. Use the #WATWB hastag. Let’s start a movement!
Just click Here to enter their link and join us!
pjlazos 1.26.18
Green Life Blue Water 
I totally agree, a return to politeness and niceness is long overdue. And, as some of your other commenters noted, definitely it begins with each of us. I did click through to the article that inspired your post and was more than a little startled to see the writer touting niceness referring to transit workers as morons in the first sentence without ever acknowledging that wasn’t exactly being nice… Case in point…
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Haha! I know, right? I had the same reaction. I think she did it on purpose because she does catch herself later in the article.😂
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Oh yes. For my birthday, if everyone could just elevate the discussion above name calling, that’d be great. 🙂
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🤜🤛
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I think the article you sent us too has some valid points and I hope that those people who read it and need a few pointers on politeness take it and turn their lives around for the better. I think smiles are contagious and I have never thought twice about holding the door open for others or thanking someone who holds it open for me. I really do believe that #PolitenessMatters and to #BeNice is always a good thing. Thanks for sharing this story and for being a part of #WATWB
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Thanks, Lynn, and a happy day to you!
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Such a thoughtful post. I would like kindness to go viral. Each day I try to smile at one random person and have compassion for those who don’t respond in kind. The latter is the hardest part. The pay-off is when you see a positive response. It always makes me feel better – connected.
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Aw, what a great idea, Robyn. I must try it – random smiling!😘
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I agree with you, and I’m planning to link this on my author/blogger page. But I can also hear in the back of my mind voices claiming that niceness doesn’t get you anywhere, especially when you’re trying to dismantle the patriarchy or white supremacy or other forms of systematic oppression. I dunno. I’d still like to think you “catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” but these problems are more complicated than catching flies. I think this advice probably works best as something to apply to one’s own life and situation (as you do). You have inspired me to try to be nicer to people, even when they aren’t nice back.
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It truly is the hardest thing to do, but I find when I do, I reap big rewards (of a higher consciousness nature). 😘
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My first response to your title was, “well, you kinda already are.” It’s sad to think that we need to remind people of ordinary daily words and actions of commonsense considerateness and kindness. Your post, and the article it draws on, delivers a great – at times hilarious – message. Thanks so much. Thanks also for the enthusiasm you show for our WATWB 🙂
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Thanks, Simon. It was a great idea you all had and I’m happy to be part of it.😍
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You’re most welcome, Pam.
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Being and doing nice is a real win-win – the one passing on niceness feels good as does the recipient! Great post PJ .. thank you 🙂
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Thank you, Susan.😍
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I think that the movements around Brexit and Trump’s election have caused some people to think “It’s OK to be an a-hole”
I believe we’re in the middle of a process where the light and darkness are becoming more apparent.
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Totally agree, and where the patriarchy is losing control and so there’s a lot of confusion.🙃
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I agree with you Pam. Why the heck can’t people just be nice to each other? It’s not that hard to smile. I don’t get it.
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Yes, Michele, like Will Ferrel’s character in “Elf.” “I love smiling. Smiling’s my favorite thing.” ;0)
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Hi PJ – I couldn’t agree more with you … and totally endorse what you’re confirming the magazine said … we do really need to be kinder to everyone and not be belligerent … let’s hope … cheers Hilary
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Oh, Hilary, you are always so nice to everyone — you should hold niceness classes! :0)
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That would surprise a few people! I try… but one or two really rile me!! I’m doing my best to behave when I’m with them … wish I was that good …. thanks though!!
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Haha! Well, same here. I need to take my own advice.😘
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I so agree PJ civility is seen as a weakness today and most have no idea of the damage done to the social fabric by this behaviour. Of course Trump as President gives lucence to the lowest form of behaviour. Its an important article, thanks for sharing it
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Thanks, Kate!🙏🤓
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Hi. Trump needs to read your piece. Talk about someone who isn’t nice! Of course, it would make no impression on him.
Take care —
Neil S.
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Haha – so true, Neil. He’s actually made rudeness okay which is quite a sad statement to make about a presidency. 😩
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He’s the worst. A sickening and dangerous person.
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So sad that’s its come to this.
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The Buddhists would say everything in life is a mirror for you. I think it’s time for us as a society to take a good look within and see how we have let things get this bad. When money means more to people than just about anything else is when the trouble starts. I see little else in Washington than greed, but that leads me to ask myself the question as to how I’m being greedy. Or maybe it’s something else. I just know that our American lifestyle of consumerism and depletion of the planet’s resources is harming everyone, not just America. Perhaps we got the president we deserve and he’s forcing us, through the insanity of his daily routine, to take a harder look at ourselves.🧐
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And it’s not just the USA. So many countries are draining the planet’s resources. I’ve thought for many years that overpopulation is a root problem. Too many people create an unsustainable situation. The world’s human population has more than doubled since I was a kid.
And there are so many angry, mean, intolerant people all over the world . . . sigh.
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Yes, I do think overpopulation is at the root of it. I think of how jangled I get when I am constantly around people!
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It would be a wonderful world. Being nice cost nothing. Why do folks grudge doing something that costs nothing?
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I have no idea, my friend. I think it’s something to do with this culture of getting ahead. Don’t give anyone an inch cause then they may end up with more than you, or something like that.🤓❤️
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YES! Nice. Let’s be it. Let’s respect each other. Let’s not allow opinions to take precedence over good manners. I’m onboard with this idea, dreamy as it may be.
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Let’s all be dreamers!🤓
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You are a dreamer. But I appreciate you sending out the nice thoughts. Maybe each of us who reads this will try to be a little nicer today.
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Coming from NJ, I could see how you would think it’s impossible! My dad used to call me a dreamer, Ken. He always laughed after he said it in a way that let me know he was a bit of a dreamer, too. So if that’s as rough as it’s going to get for me today than I guess it’s going to be a great day!😘
Thanks for always reading and commenting. I do so appreciate the interaction. 🙏
Hopefully, someone will be really nice to you today and restore your faith. 😆
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We Are The World -I too once was a dreamer, contriving conceptions of an idealistic world, and it is always simply a matter of perspective, sometimes mostly, of information and how it is presented to us. I think Im starting to understand what Gandhi meant,”be the change you want to see in the world, it is as if, as we do the tiny actions, to give the people around us an example of this world you speak of, dreamer, you in every way are being the change you want to see in the world-activate ~ pjlazos! Great articles, somewhat confused here, dont really much care for the mainstream news, I thought we were all getting along, so I get it, the religions and also the politicians are always at war, but beyond religion or politics is sure to be peace on earth, somewhat strange that the purpose of both religion and politics is also peace on earth #WATWB We are the world -united
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I hope that your comment doesn’t mean that you are no longer a dreamer. We have to hold onto dreams as that’s how we change the world! :0)
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its true, change only ever did come form the realization of the dreams of people, as is, always has been, and always will be, be careful what you wish for, it may affect everyone around you.
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Let’s hope!❤️
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